How to Build Authentic Confidence (3 Steps)

There are certain mannerisms that can make you appear more confident. Some examples include sitting up straight, avoiding fidgeting, and speaking slowly. However, true confidence cannot be faked; it comes from within. This article is a three-step guide on how to build your confidence from your core, paving the way toward embracing your wonderful, authentic self:

  1. Get to Know Yourself Better – Often, a lack of confidence can be accompanied by a lack of a clear sense of self. When you’re disconnected from your authentic self, you may be consistently changing yourself to fit in with those whose approval you crave. The antidote to this is to reflect on who you are at your core. Ask yourself questions that go deep. What are your greatest values? What are you passionate about? What are your fears? What makes you unique? Take the time to explore who your authentic self is.

  2. Curiosity without Judgement – As you get to know yourself better, you may notice some criticism coming up. This is normal. Often, the intention of your inner critic is to protect you from embarrassment or the judgment of others. Confidence builds when you begin to work toward accepting all parts of yourself, including the parts you’re less fond of. Sometimes, I’ll say to my inner critic, “Thank you for looking out for me, but I’m safe to allow this part of myself to be here. It does not diminish my worth.” The more you can cultivate respect for all aspects of yourself, the more you can own both your strengths and insecurities.

  3. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone – I’ll be honest. I have a hard time taking my own advice on this one. Doing things that scare you is a vulnerable experience! The purpose of stepping out of your comfort zone is to learn to trust your ability to handle tough experiences. When you overcome challenges and do things you didn’t think you could do, you may find your self-doubt naturally fades. The more that you show up for yourself in these difficult moments, the more self-trust you build and the more confident you feel.

When you build your confidence from within, it becomes solidified, no matter what your external circumstances look like. Even on your bad days, you’ll still know your worth. Challenge yourself to be open to the journey of developing this new relationship with yourself.  

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